Familiar surroundings are the first signs of peace.

I think it's finally safe to say, that if it ended tomorrow... i'll be ok.
I no longer ache for what was... finally understanding what will never be again.
I've mourned for this relationship long enough... it just isn't quite dead yet.
But i'm in a place where i don't feel a need to be in love.
I mean.. i do still love him.. and am still IN love with him... but i think i could just as easily not be.
I love being with my friends.
I love being with myself.
I love having my own life.
I think i was too caught up in having a partner... someone who somehow is a part of me.
He unfortunately didn't want the same.
He doesn't like anyone being too dependent on him unless there's something he's extracting from them.
I stopped being the cute smiley girl that just ALWAYS had a positive attitude.
I now was a clingy girl that required too much.
Too much attention.
Too much affection.
Too much love.
Got hurt too easily.
The fix?
I stop expecting anything.
I stop searching for any feeling behind his eyes.
I stop searching for any warmth behind his kisses.
I stop needing to hear his "i love you"s

Being with him is like being alone... and i'm finally back in a place where i feel i can be alone for the rest of my life.